


"Whisper"

by MistyBeethoven



Series: "Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic!" or "How to Say I Love You With a Story" [105]
Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Androids, Bedrooms, Birthday, Codependency, Companions, Dark, Dark Love Story, Dolls, Dubious Consent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotions, F/M, Forgiveness, Grief/Mourning, Grooming, Growing Old, Growing Old Together, Growing Up, Heartbreak, Loss, Love, Love Stories, Mortality, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Overweight, POV Third Person, Pining, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, Power Play, Princes & Princesses, Psychological Horror, Psychological Torture, Psychological Warfare, Regret, Robot/Human Relationships, Robots, Science Fiction, Self-Insert, Serious, Sex Addiction, Sexual Coercion, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Underage - Freeform, Underage Sex, Unrequited Love, Weight Issues, Weird Plot Shit, Weirdness, Whispers, weird tales, withholding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:33:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29679846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven
Summary: Sequel to "Gasoline for the Too Young".After Erin, the young girl Ted "Theodore" Logan rejected in favor of the princess Elizabeth and the prophecy that he and Bill S. Preston Esq. were destined to save the world, collects the head of the destroyed Evil Ted robot, she finds herself tormented by the mechanical creation with his continual whisperings for them both to get revenge on the Wyld Stallyns member that hurt them.As the years pass, she falls both victim to the robot's manipulations and also becomes his own abuser in turn, as she struggles to find a way to change him from his wicked programming or save herself from her grief.Two seeming impossibilities.My ode to the wonderful "Weird Tales" magazine.
Relationships: Billie Logan & Ted "Theodore" Logan, Elizabeth/Ted "Theodore" Logan, Evil Robot Ted & Chuck De Nomolos, Evil Robot Ted/Me, Ted "Theodore" Logan & Bill S. Preston Esq., Ted "Theodore" Logan/Me
Series: "Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic!" or "How to Say I Love You With a Story" [105]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589944
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	"Whisper"

**Author's Note:**

> As anyone whom read "Gasoline for the Two Young" knows, this sequel was always planned. And it was always going to be called "Whisper". It reminded me a little of Stephen King's story " The Monkey" and even stronger of that old pulp magazine from the early twentieth century, "Weird Tales".
> 
> I do not profess to know it very well other than the omnibus I borrowed once from my local library but I have a special place in my heart for the idea of that pulp magazine, with it's lurid uncaterogizable stories that did not fear going "out there" into the dark places of the human imagination or even frightening still its heart.
> 
> I like those places; I like them very much.
> 
> This story that came to me, seemed to fit in perfectly within that world and seemed to be my nod for the genre of weird fiction.
> 
> It's just your average story of a girl and a robot head.
> 
> Truth said, I would have loved to have joined authors such as Lovecraft, Howard and Bradbury by being published in the magazine. I can't though...So I decided to go all out here and do a mock up cover. The crappy printing is mine; the better looking stuff was done online. 
> 
> Only I wasn't sure if using "Weird Tales" would upset them so I changed it to "Wired Tales", which is fitting considering Evil Ted's status as a robot.
> 
> Although, come to think of it, he really should be called an android, shouldn't he?
> 
> I guess De Nomolos wasn't as smart as he thought he was.

_**~WHISPER~** _

Often the robot head would whisper to Erin, from his place on the shelf, where she had placed him along with her dolls and stuffed toys, a place where she could always see him, or from under the bed, where she would not have to look at him at all. Where he was situated depended mostly on _how_ he was behaving, which in turn rested solely on the content of his whispers.

His words the only weapon he had been left with.

The teenager knew that she could have gagged him to keep him silent, just as Evil Ted understood that he could always have shouted out the words to the girl whom had rescued him after his defeat. Yet neither did what they _could_ have. Erin knew if she stuffed a sock in the robot's mouth she would rob herself of hearing a voice identical to that of the man she loved, even if his words were alternately cruel, lewd or nasty. She cherished the sound that the robot made, even if she did not like what he was saying. Similarly, the robot had realized that if he dared to raise his volume that it would only call the girl's mother, sister or grandfather in. They would hardly let her keep such a vile odd malfunctioning "toy" even if it resembled Ted "Tgeodore" Logan, a man currently beloved by the world.

So he kept his voice down to a whisper, saying warm and sweet things on the odd occassion, hoping he could move her with affection into doing something wrong, like he had coaxed her to do in the alleyway the evening they had first met. Or when that failed, softly speaking obscenities about her sex and the smell of it, tossing out insults about her size, intelligence, looks or attempting to bully her, another tactic from the night the Wyld Stallyns had won the Battle of the Bands.

Meanwhile Erin listened to it all, sometimes fully awake and talking back to him, or at others, nestled safely under the covers, eyes wide opened or shut and trying to get some sleep.

Falling into that dreamland, first greeted with darkness, she wondered if there wasn't some way she could reverse the programming and make him more like Ted, _her_ Ted, the _good_ Ted.

She kept hoping she could make the Evil Ted robot better somehow.

She kept hoping without any _true_ hope.

* * *

"Baby turns sweet sixteen today?" Evil Ted asked, sitting back on his shelf, having been a suprisingly good boy for a few days.

"Yes," Erin replied, without looking at him.

"We've known each other for three years now, huh?"

The teenager nodded, trying not to think of what the robot had made her do in the alley and the taste of gasoline dripping down her throat.

"I have a present for you," Evil Ted said, teasingly.

She turned to look up at him, wary now of what he was referencing. Being only a head, he really couldn't do much. And everything he had tried to get her to do, like hurt Bill and Ted or anybody else he had developed a disliking for, had not been able to work. She knew the difference between right and wrong and also was completely aware of what she would or wouldn't do and hurting another human being would never even be a choice. Still, despite her suspicion, or maybe because of it, Erin asked the bodyless robot what infact the surprise was.

"Unh unh," the imitation human replied, grinning widely. "I'll give it to you tonight when everyone is sleeping. Then it will virtually be just you and me, little princess. It will be a most _excellent_ surprise!"

Erin looked away, still not trusting the robot. She had still been searching for a way to change him but nothing had worked, no matter what electronic manuals she had read or how many times she had studied the handsome synthetic head. Evil Ted remained evil, his badness so tied in with his wiring and creation that to change it by her hands would surely be to destroy him.

He kept trying to change her, however, as well, with his insistent whisperings and his constant failed manipulations.

There was no winner between them, it seemed, only losers.

Erin had always known that was what she was from the moment Ted had told her that he couldn't wait for her.

"So you get a birthday card from that bogus savior of mankind?" Evil Ted inquired, as if De Nomolos had gifted him with the ability to read minds too.

"No," she replied sadly.

Ted "Theodore" Logan had seemed to have forgotten about her entirely.

* * *

He had been planning this for months.

With little else to do, the robot would sit and think of ways to trick Erin into doing what he wanted, which more or less involved getting revenge on Bill and Ted and even De Nomolos if he could. He would have believed it would be far easier than it had turned out to be. When she had come and found him in the empty theater, he had not been surprised. It had been expected really, knowing how much she adored the real Ted.

That had been what had made him aware he could use her to satisfy his curiosity and needs regarding human sexuality and the process to mimic it his maker had inexplicably created him with.

And she had worked quite well, tricked via her love for the poor musician into giving him what he wanted. With no body now he had could not try to trick her into pleasing him again though.

He could not even escape.

All he could do was sit and think about how to use Erin to become his body for him, fat as she was.

Sit.

Think.

Wait.

And whisper.

* * *

"Take off your underwear, little princess," the robot whispered as Erin walked towards him where he sat patiently on the shelf.

She was wearing a nightie with a Tweety Bird on it and though the request startled her and filled her with unease, the girl still slipped out from the pair of underwear, letting it fall to her feet. Erin watched Evil Ted studying her chubby form and she knew that what he wanted from her was nothing really good.

But as long as it hurt only her it would be all right.

"Non heinous," he said, approvingly. "Now get me off of this shelf. I want to play with a _real_ doll for a change, not these things made of glass."

Erin let herself enjoy the compliment even if it was as false as all of the others. It was her birthday, she reasoned, and a day to fool herself into happiness. Her pudgy hands reached up and grabbed the robot's head, feeling the hair she had washed and brushed specifically for today between her fingers. The caring of the robot head had become her responsibility, Erin now realized. She always made sure he was clean and in good condition, something akin to loving him in a way, something he could never do in return.

Evil Ted, however, loathed the cleaning of him, preferring the oil which was something he understood.

"Now lie back on the bed," he now instructed to which she acquiesced swiftly enough.

She held the Evil Ted head over her then, imagining that it was the real thing and not an evil reproduction. Thinking of Ted Logan being above her, familiar sexual stirring occurred and she could feel everything beginning to swell between her legs.

"Now bend your legs and spread them, little princess," the robot asked, his dark hair like curtains hanging to either side of his face. " _Wide_."

This Erin did too, feeling the air hit the swollen bud down below accompanied almost instantly by a feeling of becoming wet.

"Bodacious!" he said, grinning maniacally. "Now place me between them...right up to you. Where the crotch of your panties would usually rest."

She knew what he intended but was shocked in a way a man would want to do this to her, even a false one. She had heard before of what she had done to the robot by his praise and threats. But it was less known to her that in return his lips could be placed on her most intimate of places.

Like a servant or slave she agreed, wanting this special birthday present to offset the pain and disappointment of another year passing in her life without the boy she had once comforted on his bedroom floor with an embrace and the words that it didn't matter if he was as smart as he wanted to be because his heart was so very big.

Evil Ted's tongue was very smart on her, however.

It crept into the dirty, nasty parts of her, licking them and causing them to come alive even more. She looked down her overweight body and past the tuft of brown hair to see the robot, with his ears pressed against her two plump thighs, tasting her. With the same mouth he used to spit out such horrible things, he was now making her feel so wonderful instead. Her nipples tingled and grew hard as the lips, which formed insults on a regular basis alongside wicked coaxings, now sucked on her. When the tongue was pushed deep inside her the pleasure reached its climax. She caught it in time, choking it back so she wouldn't wake up her family and risk them coming in to find the evil robot giving her head.

She lay there afterwards, trying to catch her breath and enjoying the way her heart was pounding, each beat felt throughout her body. She lifted her ass from off the bed in order to raise her thighs to see the robot whom had given to her her first orgasm.

"Happy Birthday, little princess," he said, licking his lips with his wide grin, his teeth on frightening display

His face was covered in liquid, transluscent, and it shone in the light offered from the small light on the nearby desk. It had gotten everwhere on his face.

She would need to wash his hair again too, Erin realized with a sigh.

* * *

All of sixteen, any chance Erin found now, she was taking the Evil Ted head off from the shelf or out from the bed and sticking it between her legs. The feeling of what he did down there helped her forget all of her pain; hearing the constant talk around San Dimas about Ted "Theodore" Logan and his family was constantly breaking her heart. When she was left alone, she would let her cries of bliss, mingled with hidden pain, fill the house. But when mother, sister and grandfather were home, she muffled them as best she could with her pillow, arm or fist.

He had taken to requesting to be shoved up her nightshirt or shirt to her breasts now also. The feeling of his lips on them was almost equally as strong as his oral manipulation of her below her waist. She could not get enough of the feel of him all on her body, even her ass which he had suprisingly suggested one day. Erin told herself that it was all fine. She would have no other man other than Ted and this was the next best thing. Wasn't this why she had taken him, afterall? To have him fulfill the needs that would never be satisfied with the real Ted off happily with Elizabeth and little Bill?

She could never have the genuine and good one; that was not her destiny.

But a man from the future had made for her without knowing it a close enough proximity.

And the robot seemed more than willing at the start to please her. He appeared to be getting his own enjoyment out of it. He would act like a Ziggy Piggy, relishing the devouring of her whenever she would fetch him and they would start their little "playtime".

Only one day, close to when a year had passed since they had begun, the robot head had started to become more reluctant to comply. Erin would take him down from his perch and place him with a fat thigh to either side of his face, like fleshy bookmarks, and he would only sit there with his mouth frustratingly closed.

"I don't feel like it today, babe," he had answered that first time.

Erin had feared that he wouldn't ever want to again but he would soon request it, returning her to a state where her trouble would fade as her clit would swell and finally burst.

And then, right when she was in the grips of the return to her ecstasy and escape, Evil Ted would refuse again. In fact, these times were becoming more and more common. He had successfully made her hooked on his mouth and then he had taken it away.

Only to return to his insidious whisperings...

"I can always _do_ it, little princess, I _want_ to do it again...I just need some motivation. I've been programmed to wreck Ted's life; if only you could help me."

"No," Erin would defy him. "I won't hurt Ted..."

"Not even after he hurt _you,_ little dudette?" he asked.

"He was right," she threw back. "I _was_ too young; he...he didn't love me."

"But I can love you," the robert version promised, seeing the concept as all he knew: the physical. "I can give you what you want...make all that pain go away into oblivion with a mind blowing bit of _head_..."

He'd whisper, whenever he could, all the things he planned to do to her if she would only become his arms and legs and hurt the two members of the Wyld Stallyns, especially the man he was the exact image of. Tantalizing descriptions of what he had done to her filled in a low tone her solitary bedroom, making her recall with orgasmic bliss how he had made her body react.

Worse he was adding his own male anatomy into it all, telling her in great detail the pleasure she had given him in the alleyway, with her hands and her mouth. She remembered his expression and thought of Ted in her new sexual awakening and how she had wanted to make him feel those same ways by pleasuring him.

She wasn't too young now. Oh how her body no longer felt too young at all!

"You made me feel so good with your hands on me," he would whisper. "And those lips and tongue...I wish I had a chubby again so you could play with it...Do you _want_ to play with it now? Do you remember how big and _hard_ you made it, little princess?"

Erin would cry in bed remembering how she had and how it had shot off gasoline into her mouth and onto her face at his cumming. She wished it had been Ted now, his seed hot and real both inside and on her.

"Did I make you feel good, my most bodacious babe? My tongue so far up your cunt you thought I could taste your womb? Do you want me to do it again? To lick your clit like a sweet tart, to suck on it like a ring pop."

The teenage girl, would squirm then, disturbing her sheets. Bunching them into a knot, she would scream into it and bite down hard for she wanted him to do all those things but not at the cost of what he wanted from her.

Not to hurt Ted or anyone he cared about.

Finally, there came a day it became too much for her however.

"Fine, I'll give you what you want," she said close to her eighteeth birthday. Erin had taken the head out from underneath her bed and it was resting on the matress while she knelt before it.

"I knew you'd come to your senses," the robot stated, sticking out his tongue at her and giving it a lascivious wiggle.

"Can I kiss you first?" she asked, her eyes large and pleading.

Evil Ted was surprised by the request. Kissing had never been part of his recent ritual with her. At least, not with the lips above her neck. Still, if she was finally surrendering...

"Fine little princess," Evil Ted consented. "Prepare for a most _life_ altering kiss."

She leaned towards him and their lips met, not for the first time in their shared and painful history, but for the first time where it felt a little more balanced. Evil Ted noted that she was far more bolder now, her tongue forcing its way inside of his mouth and probing. To show her how innocent and amateurish she was, the robot's tongue aggressively danced with the teenager's until she was backing away mid kiss for what he assumed was air.

However, the moment they had parted, Erin took the sock she had secretly been holding and stuffed it in her plaything's now opened mouth.

His eyes bugged out in rage, realizing that he had been tricked; the overweight girl ignored his anger, though, and picked him up.

"I won't hurt Ted or...her...or his kid or Bill or anyone," she was mumbling either to herself or to the robot as she fetched a plastic bag and placed the evil head inside of it. "I know that I never would...but I can't take your whisperings anymore...I hear them at school...I hear them at the mall! I hear them everywhere!"

The robot was murderous in his rage, no longer whispering but the sock stifling it so it's shouting came out like ones anyway.

"I thought I could change you but no. I'm sorry but you're evil and I'm fat and too young and Ted was too impatient to wait for me!" Tears were streaming down her face as she tied the bags handles and then stuffed the head into an old backpack she owned but no longer used.

Slipping out of the room, Erin walked through the corridors of her house while her family slept and to the backyard. Under moonlight she walked to the hole she had spent all afternoon digging, in the bit of garden her mother had given her, and she buried the evil robot along with all of his malignant and tempting whispers.

Placing the dirt back over him, she promised herself that she would never go back.

She would try to forget about Ted "Theodore" Logan and his poor and evil substitute.

* * *

The following years would make it easy for her too she was soon to discover, as the Wyld Stallyns' career soon went nowhere very fast.

While the Wyld Stallyns careers had risen to the stratosphere incredibly quickly they fell to it with enough velocity to make a fallen star envious. They became what was akin to a one hit wonder and Erin only had to worry about seeing them in those specials that MTV or Entertainment Tonight did where they asked the eternal question: "Whatever happened to so and so?"

The streets of San Dimas didn't prove too hazardous either since she hardly ventured out into them, only when she needed something. She became something of a recluse; her life as a transcriber for a publishing company never requiring seeing too many people. Once a month, a shipment of manuscripts from the publishing house turned up at her door and she went through them speedily, putting her fast typing skills to good use and paying the rent on the house where she now lived alone, except for the occasional cat. Her dreams of being a published author had disappeared years ago about the same time Bill and Ted had stopped touring or visiting the moon.

But it was okay. She had survived.

Until one day, about twenty four years after the midnight burial in the backyard, when she had a chance meeting in the junk food aisle of the supermarket with the man she knew she had not managed to fall out of love with at all.

* * *

Erin burst into her house, empty except for the black cat she had adopted and named Inkspot, and rushed to the backyard. Her neighbours wondered in silence why she had grabbed the shovel and started to dig so furiously into the bit of the garden left untouched for so long. However, when they saw that she was crying, they quickly went back inside of their houses, her tears having the power to make them uncomfortable enough to overpower their curiosity. Compassion was an emotion that might necessitate the need to make them care and ask her what was wrong.

She dug and dug into the ground, the whispers she was hearing this time spoken in her own voice, and coming from her too. The backpack was covered in dirt and worms but she left this outside, opening it to retrieve only the plastic bag tied and hidden inside. This she held to her chest as she ran to the saftey of the four walls of her house, even though the neighbours had already fled into the detatchment their own had offered.

Erin brought the bag to her bedroom and rushed over to sit at the end of the bed, making sure first to take one required action. As her pants and underwear slipped to the floor, she sat down and opened the bag, the scent of earth hitting her nostrils once more. Evil Ted's eyes were open as she threw the plastic away and thet stared at one another for a second or two in silence.

The robot's retained youth was horrible in its way.

She had just seen her Ted aged, but the creation by De Nomolos was unchanged from the day he had first been made and the day on which she had buried him also. The only signs of change were where it looked like bugs had managed to get in at him, and tasting his synthetic flesh, had decided it was not to their liking and had soon given up.

His brown eyes stared at her in shock and she half knew what his first words would be as she ripped the sock out of his mouth.

"Little princess, _whoa_ , you got _old_!"

Yes.

She did feel old.

Not as older in appearance as she could have been, but she was still no longer the teenager whom had first encountered the miserable robot one unfortunate day. She felt old. Too old at last and too old to be in love with the same man for so many years having past while he had had a family. Decades later and it hadn't changed. She doubted it ever would.

And she was too old to deal with the regret in Ted "Theodore" Logan's eyes when he had looked at her in that San Dimas Supermarket, standing beside his grown daughter, and finally _wanted_ her. Regret had been in his eyes, a regret that whispered that he had in fact loved her too but had made the wrong choice.

Something too late to be changed for either of them.

Suddenly she was too old for the man whom had seen her once as being too young.

Weeping bitterly, the woman placed the robot head between her legs like she had done in her youth.

"Suck it! Lick it!" she ordered needing escape.

"You think that after you..." Evil Ted started, to refuse but his words gave her the weapon she needed.

"DO IT OR I'LL STICK YOU OUT IN THAT OTHER HOLE AGAIN!" she screamed in rage and agony, until she felt him pleasuring her again.

It came to her in a flood, something that swept her under and swallowed the memory of the regret in Ted's eyes from the unexpected and unwanted encounter in the supermarket, at least temporarily. The synthetic mouth that had spent her teenage years whispering to her such foul suggestions and carnal remarks was back to tasting her. This was what she deserved Erin told herself. She could not be Ted, the real Ted's, little princess ever again after what she had done; she had fallen too much for that. This had been her sin: seeking refuge in some false him, just as Ted had found his own in embracing a life with a real princess when there had been even the smallest chance that he had felt a bit of love for his "little" one.

They had each sealed their destinies in their mistakes. Now all they could do was live inside of them and find ways to forget about the pain and that horrible, _whispering_ regret.

* * *

The robot, once the one whom believed he held the power, soon found himself in a situation where he recognized he had none. The young girl he had manipulated into pleasing him in an alleyway now was making him repeatedly please her on the threat of placing him back in the ground.

He could have bitten her, he understood, and made the act amusing at least for himself but that would risk being sent back down into his disgusting organic prison.

His head being indestructible, she could not destroy him to end his misery so the earth was all that was left.

Spending years there already with nothing to do but process, the thought did not appeal to him. Ironically he had often returned to that moment where he had also taken from the girl what he had wanted to. Evil Ted reprocessed the pleasure in both her touch and the abuse of her often, wanting for another similar revenge.

Other than that, it had become incredibly boring.

There was one way, of course, to save himself. De Nomolos had created a self destruct command inside of his construct, one that only _he_ could access. The old fart had hoped that both of the evil robots he had made, modeled after the two boys he hated, might one day utilize them. Still the man had been enough of a corrupted genius to have known that neither Evil Bill or Evil Ted would ever be _quite_ that stupid.

Death was death.

A man might meet their God when the time for their life to end had come, but a creature made of steel and wires, without the hope of a soul, could only ever die and be gone completely.

Evil Ted was tired of the worms as well.

So throughout the days following his freedom into another form of imprisonment, he satisfied Ted "Theodore" Logan's little princess' needs and requests, wishing he had a dork again so he could most righteously punish her for his humiliation.

But Erin was not like him; she was not _evil_.

After a week, the woman came to some kind of realization of what she was doing and in severe agony clutched his head (all that there was of him to be clutched) to her ample breast (no longer an act holding any sexual leaning this time) and wept into his hair as she held him tightly.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...please God...forgive me. Forgive me, Evil Ted, too. I don't want to be like you! I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE YOU!"

She was shaking quite badly as she said this, her self hatred evident and the robot quickly processed the risks of her harming herself in such a state and leaving him alone. He would be found, no doubt, but those whom would find him would hardly show him the same compassion as she did.

They had never loved Ted Logan as much as she had.

Trying to make it better the robot began to whisper, this time with feigned kindness only. "It's okay little dudette...You're not me...you're nothing like _me_. I can't feel pain."

She sobbed fully at that whispered comfort, holding him tighter. Her pain was ever constant the robot understood, for it had become merged with her love for the man he had been made in the image of.

If he had been human, Evil Ted realized it might have _meant_ something to him.

"Why did you fall in love with him anyway? He was an idiot!" Evil Ted asked the crying woman, knowing the real him had proven his lack of intelligence in choosing the wrong organic woman to procreate and cohabit with.

Erin thought deeply about it, her own processing unit trying to find the answer. 

"It was him...who he was...what he looked like...how he acted. And...Because...when someone cares for you, really cares, when everyone else acts like you don't deserve it, and you're afraid that they're right...you can't help but love that person."

Evil Ted, in return, tried to process this information, but soon gave up after the infinity of a nano second. Humans had their ways as did machines and it was useless to try to understand the other.

Especially not when human beings rarely seemed to even understand themselves.

* * *

Unwilling to place the robot back into the garden after what she had done to him, Erin returned him to the top shelf, now placed amongst Funkos instead of porcelain dolls. She had come to suffer his whisperings, knowing in her heart that she would never fall to them as she had once feared in her youth. She had received a taste of the wicked and known it was not the whole of her and could be overcome.

She still searched for a way to make him into a "Good" Ted instead of an evil one. But despite the leaps in technology, nothing had changed and he seemed destined to always be _bad_.

It surprised her one day when Evil Ted specifically requested to be placed on her body again. When asked why, the Robot had replied that he was tired of watching TV and it was something different to do at least.

Instead of complying, still feeling guilty for her sexual transgression against the synthetic human, Erin had taken him outside instead, cutting two peepholes in a new backpack for him to look out of. They saw a second wave of world peace, brought about by Thea Preston and Billie Logan this time, and the only thing that was keeping the woman from not completely breaking down in anger and sorrow (and something that was not only a painful reminder of what she had lost but also felt wrong and like history had been rewritten) was Evil Ted's remarks from inside of the backpack.

"Whoa! It was the daughters? What type of balls does that suck? Lawrence Welk's? Why didn't De Nomolos just send us back in time to off Elizabeth and Joanna if it was all about the estrogen? Maybe he should have just sent the dudes a box of tight undies? How about if we cut off Bill and Ted's nuts while we were at it? That would have been simpler! Their kids? What a big fucking joke! Non non-heinous, little princess!"

Through her laughter, Erin started to weep. Life was like that too often: the sorrow slipped in through the edges of the joy until you were a torn and confused mess.

When they arrived back home and sg6e removed Evil Ted from the bag, his request had not changed. "Little princess, stick me between your legs. It looks far better than the future down there and doesn't smell as much like _bullshit_."

She kissed his forehead, removed her panties and lay back on the bed, the Ted head enthusiastically doing that which he possesed the talent for; one his maker had probably never intended.

* * *

Erin lived out the rest of her years with the robot head she had once stolen from a San Dimas theater without anyone knowing or caring. They coexisted peacefully, perhaps with more honesty than those they had come to shun in the world outside their house.

They did not party on.

And they were not always excellent to each other.

But they existed side by side and with companionship.

Evil Ted remained evil. But Erin forgave him this fact. That was how he had been made, after all, and she had failed him by never finding a way to change him.

And, meanwhile, Ted suffered Erin's humanity, understanding that this too was the curse of her creation.

The robot could not age but the same was not true for the woman, however. The years took what they could from her, as they did with all humans, and she would often look at Evil Ted with pain whenever he remarked about this new line on her face or how amusingly slow she was becoming. She felt this slowing down in her movement, could not hate her companion for noticing it, but what the robot could not so easily see was that her heart was slowly giving out as well.

It had suffered too much already.

Feeling her heart finally turning on her for the years of abuse from both inside and out, she stumbled to her bedroom, one day, close to her sixty-eighth birthday, to grab the one friend she had been left with from off of his place, surrounded by the photographs of all those she had loved and lost.

Although he slept with him now, held against the heart which was now in the act of revolting against her, she placed him safely on the shelf now, where the new cat Chamomile (Inkspot's succesor) could not reach him.

"What's going on?" Evil Ted asked, confused by the look of pain and anxiety on the woman's contorted face.

She had no strength to answer him then; the last of it seemed to give way as they fell to the floor together, in front of the bed where they had spent so many years together . He kept asking her what was wrong, in words harsher than his years spent whispering, until finally he must have scanned the beating of her heart, and understanding, became speechless.

In his silence, Erin thought then of that one moment with Ted on his bedroom floor. The time when she had held him with no words spoken, only comforting him. How...how she had wished it had gone on forever. Erin knew that if she were to ask God one thing, it would be to make her heaven that one moment. And to make it last forever.

Yet, holding the Evil Ted's head close to the pounding thing inside of her chest, it felt as if she _had_ at last returned to her moment of heaven.

All the pain between them, the anger and hatred was burned up, completely exhausted, spent like the fuel in a tank or the gasoline he had shot into her mouth so very long ago. Now all she had in its place was her gratitude that he had managed to keep his whispering mouth shut this long to give her a beautiful remembrance and a fantasy to go off on.

She placed the robot head close to her lips and gave what were to be her last words to his ear in a whisper.

"What?" Evil Ted asked, although with the superior hearing his maker had endowed him with, there was no chance that he failed in hearing her.

Erin watched as it faded to dark, like those times when she had been listening to the robot's whispers in bed, trying to figure out a way that she could save him, as sleep had finally taken her, before an answer had ever come.

* * *

Long after she had stopped breathing and her heart had become completelty still, the robot continued to stare at the girl, seeing her as she had been when they had first met, past the thoughlessness of time.

His little princess.

He kept hoping that her eyes would open, the part of her that had always remained the same despite the years having come and gone. But they remained closed as she remained still and all that moved in the bedroom was the constant repetition of her whisper inside of his simulated cortex

_"You were a good Ted."_

Why had she said it to him? He had never been a _good_ Ted to her. Even when he had been kind it had all been an act and she had known it.

_"Because...when someone cares for you, really cares, when everyone acts like you don't deserve it, and you're affraid that they're right...you can't help but love that person."_

The words came back to him, a glitch really for why now would something a dead woman had said years ago hold any true importance?

"Little princess," he whispered, looking into her open eyes. They continued to stare without blinking and though he saw himself reflected in them he wondered what she truly saw now, enraged that it was no longer him.

"Please..." he whispered.

But she could not hear nor heed whatever it was he was requesting of her this time.

Just as she had resisted him for most of their time together.

Gasoline began to pour from his eyes in his malfunction. He could not understand what was happening to him. He foresaw in his programming strangers coming and taking him away from her. In something which felt strange, and like the feeling which had urged the girl to come and collect him in the first place, he initiated the self destruct command, an act, which despite what he had always expected, sounded like a whisper.

**~The End~**

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**Author's Note:**

> Dear Keanu;
> 
> Even before I changed "Weird" to "Wired" I'd been thinking of wires often.
> 
> Actually, I had been going crazy with them.
> 
> There seem to be too many wires today! There is the rechargers to my phone and tablet and the wires for my CPAP and that was bad enough. Now I have my Pocket ECG and I'm wired up too! Three wires, one over each breast and one under the left one. By the way, I wish you could apply them. And then there is the recharger for the ECG's battery too. Sigh. I feel trapped with all of them and like I'm going to trip!
> 
> And everything seems so fragile, like it will break if I move the wrong way. Which is hard not to do when you're surrounded and connected to wires!
> 
> Do you ever feel that way? I was going to say you look remarkably free of them, but I guess your motorcycles have plenty of them too, they are all just safely hidden away.
> 
> I think we've made a technological world, filled with wires instead of veins. I wonder where it all leads to...where its heart beats and rests?
> 
> Much love,  
> Erin  
> XO XO  
> :D <3


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